i'll never be the same, if we ever meet again.

it's been a weird and incredibly messed up couple of days.

CHANGECHANGECHANGE

I really do need to get things right.

I know I've changed, alot; might not be noticeable to some, but lately, I just haven't been me. I used to be the person who always worried about what others thought of me & constantly wanted to please them. I'm not going to say I'm not like that anymore because there are still some people that I do strive to please these days, but that certain number of people is decreasing. I've realized that I've been backstabbed, hurt, and all those typical things that we as teens go through & it's just made me cold. Cold, towards others & their emotions, and believing that I should do everything for myself and nobody else. That's not the case, and though I should not push myself to please everyone else, neither should I turn ignorant towards the emotions of others and how my actions may hurt them.

With the things I've done, I know I can't take things back. I know I've said mean things, and I know I've been a bitch to a certain extent. I'm not going to say that anyone did not deserve what I said to them, or what I've done to them - but neither am I going to say I had a right in doing the things I did. So, to anyone that I, myself have screwed over - I'm sorry.

I don't know how to put this, but things can't always be done for one's own gain. Yes, it's human nature - but can't we change that to an extent? I know I want to. I want to stop being this selfish person I've become; I don't like this constant concern about myself over everyone else. I can't say that I can attain this goal of becoming less self centred, but I can try - and that's what I'm going to do.

At the end of all of this, I've just realized - me doing things for my own gain has made me a really unhappy person on the inside. It has worn me out, and it does not do any good for me.

I really just need to turn my life around and go back to God.

I'm sorry to everyone, that's pretty much all I have to say.

I'm really tired. I wouldn't say I've been overworked this past week, but I'm definitely exhausted & my body just feels really weak.

Sadness can only last if you let it.
Switch your train of thought -
stop letting it bring you down.
Think happy thoughts,
look up & plaster a smile on that face of yours.
You'll feel better, I promise.

haha wtf was that? note to self. or anyone else.

Goodnight. 11.04? I'm sleeping early tonight.
A Goodnight's sleep? it's been awhile.

poem #2

You’ve had a rough life, no doubt that’s true
But no matter what, she had always been true to you.
That aroma of love within you two,
was strong, yet you broke it off – too soon.

Now you’re sitting there and constantly regretting,
Beckoning the past? That’s what you’re trying to do.

You should’ve looked inside that heart of hers,
Listened to what she had to say.
You should’ve really thought it through,
Instead of pushing her away.

Now you’re at her door and apologizing once more
But this time she’s not coming back –
Well, you should’ve embraced that love you both shared

so you say I'm suppose to transpose shakespeare's sonnet 130 to modern language?

To be honest, your eyes are fairly cold
Your complexion – it’s a rocky surface
And your voice is very much like a toad’s
You say you look fine? Oh please, plead your case

Hold your hand? That’s like holding loads of sand
Your hair resembles a whole lot of hay,
And you saying that you’re in demand?
It’s like me saying the blue sky is gray.

You have this rather funny little smell
I can smell you when I’m far away, like MILES
I wish I could say it’s a pleasant smell
But, it’s more like trash, and I mean – BIG PILES

And though others say you are imperfect,
To me, in my heart, you are just perfect

LOL FAILURE :)

don't judge a book by it's cover.

cliche much?

My sister's finishing up some literature stuff so, I'm stayin up with her til 12.30. I was going to read my Seventeen magazine, that's been OVERDUE for a reading. I pretty much bought it, hmm, 3 weeks ago & still haven't found time to just SIT, RELAX, AND READ A MAGAZINE. My sister's managed to go through my teen vogue one, whereas I've only managed to skim it.

Hm, oh well - back to "don't judge a book by its cover"

In this new year, it has become so evident that as cliche as it may be, that statement is true. I'm a judgemental person - no doubt about it, but I've realized that alot of people that I've classified as, hmm, people I wouldn't want to associate myself with have only proven that they aren't anything like what I'd imagined they would be. However, the ones I thought were..um, people i WOULD want to associate myself with, just turned out wacked and weird. (I don't mean everyone, I just mean some). It's interesting. I don't know what made me start with this entire thing but, just thought I'd mention that :) but in one case, YOU'RE STILL SOMEONE I'D NEVER EVER WANT TO BE AROUND. JUST SEEING YOU PISSES ME OFF. okay :) i'm sure people feel that way about me too, so i'll shut up :D

12.23, 7 minutes to go. hmm.

Let's see.

Friday: I got home, and well, when you stay up til 6.30 and had to miss two classes cause you're literally worn out - you do this: get home, crash at 5?, sleep til 1 in the morning, EAT dinner at around 2...and stay up til 4 :)

Saturday: IHOP for breakfast (it was the most gorgeous day ever!), went umm, it wasn't even grocery shopping, it was like random shopping at shopper's drug mart for Bathing stuff?! Then, um Alice in Wonderland in 3D, then PEARL CASTLE..at 10.30. yea, sorry i eat alot :)

Sunday: churches & a whole bunch of people came over.

OH LOOK MY SISTER'S SLEEPING. lol, smart. alrighty, nnights :)

What do you expect from me at this point? Tell me. What the hell do I have to do to prove my worth?

Have you ever given something all you've got but gotten nothing but negative responses back?
Even worse - you give it all you've got, get the perfect mark that you've craved, but still no one believes you have the potential to succeed?
Do you understand how I feel when I hear you criticize me saying I'm not good at what I just scored perfect in? Do you literally understand how it affects me and pulls me further down then I already am?
I don't know what I can do except push myself harder, but how much further can I push myself?

And if anyone's thinking what goes around comes around. Well, you're wrong. Cause even if I push myself over my limit and end up damaging myself mentally, or anything. At least I know I did that trying my hardest, unlike you, bitch.

Maybe that doesn't make much sense but really, I'll say - nothing does

- Posted using BlogPress

Location:Stanley Pl,Coquitlam,Canada

you can be better, i can be better - we can be better.

GOODNIGHT :)

watching monkk PART2 :O then off to bed

Whatever will be - Vanessa hudgens

I've finally learnt to say: whatever will be will be, you take - the good, the bad and BREATHE.

Location:Glen Dr,Coquitlam,Canada

awe hey, whatsup? it's now 2.30 and guess what i've been doin for the past 2 hours?

As humans, we are not perfect – we make mistakes. These mistakes can be life altering, or not have much of an impact at all – but no matter how large or miniscule, these mistakes are made so that we can learn from them. Mistakes are made for us to better ourselves. This is demonstrated through Jennifer Jones, the protagonist of the story. Her mistakes and the conflicts caused by her mistakes, cause her character to develop as it gains and learns from the things she has gone through. As a child, Jennifer Jones had often been neglected by her own mother – though this seems like an inconsequential act, it turns out to have a huge impact on the way she reacts towards situations. It is this negligence that leads to her making a mistake that changes her life drastically: the mistake of killing her own best friend. Jennifer Jones is a round character. She displays various emotions and many a time, the emotions that come through are ones of unhappiness, confusion, and fear. The emotion of unhappiness is caused by the sudden change in her mother’s attitude towards her. Jennifer’s mom used to “[be] with Jennifer all the time” (P. 87), but it changed once her mother had to work more to sustain Jennifer and herself. Her mother then becomes “just a visitor” (p. 88). This change upset Jennifer and causes her to wonder why her mom does not want to be around her anymore. The change causes confusion within her: the confusion of why her mother left her. At the age of 10, Jennifer does not understand that this is because her mom is working hard and just trying to get Jennifer and herself by. Instead, Jennifer questions and blames herself and wonders where she, herself, might have gone wrong. This confusion instils fear within Jennifer – the fear of losing those that are significant to her. This is the cause for the murder. Jennifer’s fear reaches its’ maximum when Michelle, her best friend, decides that their friendship is over. Jennifer then feels “a sudden sense of loss”, as though “everything important [is] walking away” (P.211) from her. Jennifer hits Michelle. She hits her on the head, with a baseball bat, then unknowingly buries Michelle alive and leaves her to die. Jennifer made that mistake. It was never her intention to murder her best friend, but after what she had been through, she did not know how to react to yet another person walking out of her life and no longer caring for her. She could not stand the idea of being alone again. This mistake was caused by a string of events – all starting with the mistake made by her own mother to neglect her. Jennifer’s mother made a mistake in neglecting her child’s need for attention when she was trying to work to sustain Jennifer and herself, what she failed to realize was that what she was doing for Jennifer would end up destructing Jennifer psychologically. Due to this mistake, Jennifer ends up in a conflict with herself and her society. Jennifer cannot forgive herself for her actions, neither can the people from Berwick – but, the main conflict is within her own self. The one thought that runs through her mind repeatedly is, “What [do I] deserve” (P.297). Throughout the story, she does not believe that she deserves this second chance that is being handed to her, but as her character develops, she does come to terms with her past. She never fully forgives herself, but she realizes that this is something she can never take back. She gains from the entire experience by repairing herself psychologically, with the help of the psychiatrists and therapists that she met up with while in prison. Jennifer moves on, just like the story concludes – “there was no such person […] anymore”. As all humans with our imperfections, Jennifer made a mistake. Mistakes are made for us to learn from them; what would we be like without these mistakes?


PLEASE FORGIVE MY BILLION GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, KAYTHANKS.

hi englishh essay, I HATE YOU :)

As humans, we are not perfect – we make mistakes. These mistakes can be life altering, or tiny and not mean much – but either way, these mistakes are made for us to gain from them and to learn from them. They are made so that we can better ourselves. This is demonstrated through Jennifer Jones, the protagonist of the story. Her mistakes, conflicts caused by her mistakes, and her lessons learnt are what move the story forward and what the story emphasizes.

i'm stuck, screwlife.

I HONESTLY knew better, and I thought I could just not bother with it, but apparantly that just isn't true. I'm shocked, pretty much. I didn't see that coming. Yeap, I lost control - no surprise there. I just wanted to believe so badly that it wasn't true, but I was just fooling myself.