As humans, we are not perfect – we make mistakes. These mistakes can be life altering, or not have much of an impact at all – but no matter how large or miniscule, these mistakes are made so that we can learn from them. Mistakes are made for us to better ourselves. This is demonstrated through Jennifer Jones, the protagonist of the story. Her mistakes and the conflicts caused by her mistakes, cause her character to develop as it gains and learns from the things she has gone through. As a child, Jennifer Jones had often been neglected by her own mother – though this seems like an inconsequential act, it turns out to have a huge impact on the way she reacts towards situations. It is this negligence that leads to her making a mistake that changes her life drastically: the mistake of killing her own best friend. Jennifer Jones is a round character. She displays various emotions and many a time, the emotions that come through are ones of unhappiness, confusion, and fear. The emotion of unhappiness is caused by the sudden change in her mother’s attitude towards her. Jennifer’s mom used to “[be] with Jennifer all the time” (P. 87), but it changed once her mother had to work more to sustain Jennifer and herself. Her mother then becomes “just a visitor” (p. 88). This change upset Jennifer and causes her to wonder why her mom does not want to be around her anymore. The change causes confusion within her: the confusion of why her mother left her. At the age of 10, Jennifer does not understand that this is because her mom is working hard and just trying to get Jennifer and herself by. Instead, Jennifer questions and blames herself and wonders where she, herself, might have gone wrong. This confusion instils fear within Jennifer – the fear of losing those that are significant to her. This is the cause for the murder. Jennifer’s fear reaches its’ maximum when Michelle, her best friend, decides that their friendship is over. Jennifer then feels “a sudden sense of loss”, as though “everything important [is] walking away” (P.211) from her. Jennifer hits Michelle. She hits her on the head, with a baseball bat, then unknowingly buries Michelle alive and leaves her to die. Jennifer made that mistake. It was never her intention to murder her best friend, but after what she had been through, she did not know how to react to yet another person walking out of her life and no longer caring for her. She could not stand the idea of being alone again. This mistake was caused by a string of events – all starting with the mistake made by her own mother to neglect her. Jennifer’s mother made a mistake in neglecting her child’s need for attention when she was trying to work to sustain Jennifer and herself, what she failed to realize was that what she was doing for Jennifer would end up destructing Jennifer psychologically. Due to this mistake, Jennifer ends up in a conflict with herself and her society. Jennifer cannot forgive herself for her actions, neither can the people from Berwick – but, the main conflict is within her own self. The one thought that runs through her mind repeatedly is, “What [do I] deserve” (P.297). Throughout the story, she does not believe that she deserves this second chance that is being handed to her, but as her character develops, she does come to terms with her past. She never fully forgives herself, but she realizes that this is something she can never take back. She gains from the entire experience by repairing herself psychologically, with the help of the psychiatrists and therapists that she met up with while in prison. Jennifer moves on, just like the story concludes – “there was no such person […] anymore”. As all humans with our imperfections, Jennifer made a mistake. Mistakes are made for us to learn from them; what would we be like without these mistakes?
PLEASE FORGIVE MY BILLION GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, KAYTHANKS.
