I really do need to get things right.
I know I've changed, alot; might not be noticeable to some, but lately, I just haven't been me. I used to be the person who always worried about what others thought of me & constantly wanted to please them. I'm not going to say I'm not like that anymore because there are still some people that I do strive to please these days, but that certain number of people is decreasing. I've realized that I've been backstabbed, hurt, and all those typical things that we as teens go through & it's just made me cold. Cold, towards others & their emotions, and believing that I should do everything for myself and nobody else. That's not the case, and though I should not push myself to please everyone else, neither should I turn ignorant towards the emotions of others and how my actions may hurt them.
With the things I've done, I know I can't take things back. I know I've said mean things, and I know I've been a bitch to a certain extent. I'm not going to say that anyone did not deserve what I said to them, or what I've done to them - but neither am I going to say I had a right in doing the things I did. So, to anyone that I, myself have screwed over - I'm sorry.
I don't know how to put this, but things can't always be done for one's own gain. Yes, it's human nature - but can't we change that to an extent? I know I want to. I want to stop being this selfish person I've become; I don't like this constant concern about myself over everyone else. I can't say that I can attain this goal of becoming less self centred, but I can try - and that's what I'm going to do.
At the end of all of this, I've just realized - me doing things for my own gain has made me a really unhappy person on the inside. It has worn me out, and it does not do any good for me.
I really just need to turn my life around and go back to God.
I'm sorry to everyone, that's pretty much all I have to say.
